First off, there are a number of rules regarding tonight's
opening show for “Film on the Rocks†at Red Rocks Amphitheatre.
At 7 p.m., you've got Slim Cessna's Auto Club as the
opening music act, and here are the rules for Slim Cessna's
Auto Club.
1. You don't talk about Slim Cessna's
Auto Club.
2. You don't talk about Slim Cessna's
Auto Club.
3. When someone says stop, or goes limp, even
if he's faking it, the Slim Cessna's Auto is over.
4. Only two guys to a Slim Cessna's Auto.
5. One
Slim Cessna's Auto at a time.
6. They Slim Cessna's
Auto without shirts or shoes. (Though Red Rocks might have
something to say about that if you want to buy food at concessions.)
7. The Slim Cessna's Autos go on as long as they have
to. (Or until dusk, when the movie starts.)
8. If this
is your first night at Slim Cessna's Auto Club, you have
to Slim Cessna's Auto.
As for the movie that follows,
“Fight Club,†there are no rules about that; talk about that
as much as you'd like.
I also have some rules I'd
ask of the Colorado Rockies, or more specifically of the folks
at Coors Field. You know that telephone ringing sound that
you do when there's a “Call to the Bullpen?†I was hoping
you could give that a pass, at least for the next few games.
See,
the New York Mets are in town, and the previous manager, Willie
Randolph, was unceremoniously fired while on the opposite coast
at 3 a.m. in the morning. “Hey, that was a great game today;
nice win. By the way, you're fired; maybe you just want
to stay in L.A.?†I'm surprised they didn't just
leave Mr. Randolph a voice mail.
And there's the
crux of my request; since it was an ignoble phone call that
gave the previous manager the axe, future managers of the Mets
will probably have an anxiety attack whenever they hear the
sound of a phone ringing. For the near future, at least; so
perhaps for tonight's game at Coors Field, starting at
7 p.m., we could avoid that sound. Just until Mets managers
can hear a phone ring without shrieking, okay?
See you
Monday, don't be afraid of the phone, and thanks for reading!
Back to newsletter list
