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Bright-Kids
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Vol. 5, No. 21 - May 26th, 2008
http://brightkids.wordpress.com
mailto: debi@simplemom.com
Copyright 2008 Deborah Taylor-Hough
ISSN: 1536-0466 All Rights Reserved
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Subscribe: join-bright-kids@hub.thedollarstretcher.com
***: leave-bright-kids@hub.thedollarstretcher.com
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IN THIS ISSUE:
-- "Dear Readers"
-- Quote-able
-- Facilitating Listening Skills In Your Children
-- Accepting "No" for an Answer
-- Reader Tips
-- Assorted Information (resources, archives, etc.)
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< < O U R . S P O N S O R > >

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________________________________

Dear Readers ...

If you've been reading Bright-Kids for any length of time, you're
aware that Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller from Effective
Parenting are frequent contributors to this newsletter. If you live
in the Seattle/Tacoma area of Washington state, you might be
interested in attending a free video seminar at my church in
Auburn, WA during the summer. The video seminar features
classes taught by Dr. Turansky and Ms. Miller filmed before a
live audience.

For complete details, go to:
http://snurl.com/parentingseminar


Using drama, stories, humor, and scripture, Dr. Scott Turansky
and Joanne Miller share practical ways to address some of the
most common problems in family life. Filmed before a live audience
of parents and children, these practical sessions will challenge
you in creative and insightful ways and show you how honor can
transform your family.

Honor is more than just behavior change. Honor comes from the
heart. It affects the way people think, the way they act, and the
way they treat others around them. Honor motivates parents to
treat children differently. It gives children more constructive ways
to interact with their parents. It helps siblings develop tolerance
and patience. Honor builds incredibly strong bonds that, in turn,
benefit all members of the family.

"Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes ...
in You and Your Kids" offers a hands-on approach with specific
ideas and strategies to change the way your family relates. As
you implement these ideas, you will see amazing results and
your family will grow closer together.

Simply Yours,

--Debi
(Deborah Taylor-Hough)
Editor, Bright-Kids Email Newsletter
--Author of the popular 'Frozen Assets' cookbook series, 'A Simple
Choice,' and 'Frugal Living For Dummies(r)'
--Editor, Simple Times and Bright-Kids email newsletters

http://brightkids.wordpress.com
http://thesimplemom.wordpress.com
http://snurl.com/DebiTupperware
http://dsimple.wordpress.com
http://whiteriverpres.org

________________________________

QUOTABLE

"Getting things done is not always what is most important.
There is value in allowing others to learn, even if the task is not
accomplished as quickly, efficiently or effectively."

-- R.D. Clyde

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FACILITATING LISTENING SKILLS IN YOUR CHILDREN
by Shari Steelsmith
Copyright Parenting Press
Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
http://www.ParentingPress.com


Tip: If you emphasize and facilitate your child's listening skills,
you will teach him or her how to pay attention to the needs and
feelings of others.

Good listening skills are fundamental to getting along with others.
"As children are becoming more sociable in their preschool and
kindergarten years, they need to learn how to pay attention to
the needs and feelings of others," says Laurie Simons, counselor
and author of Taking 'No' for an Answer and Other Skills Children
Need. "The skill of listening involves showing or telling another
person that you understand what they want or how they feel. For
a very young child, listening means paying attention to what the
other person wants. As children get older, they can learn to listen
for another person's feelings, opinions, wishes, and desires."

Simons goes on to point out that listening well doesn't mean that
you always grant someone's wishes. It just means that you show
him you understand what he wants or is feeling.

For example, a parent might say, "I can hear that you're very upset
it's time to go home. You had fun at Grandma's house and it's hard
to say goodbye. Would you like Grandma to walk us to the car?"

To have ones' feelings and point of view understood is important. A
child who doesn't feel heard or understood may act out in stubborn,
aggressive, moody, or demanding ways.

Tools: Play this game from Taking 'No' for an Answer to help family
members to pay attention to and remember the feelings and wishes
of others.

My Favorite Things. Gather together some miscel***ous items,
such as small toys, deck of cards, costume jewelry, or small food
items. Get at least two items for each family member.

1) Sit in a circle around the table with all the items in the middle.

2) A parent decides who will go first and then play proceeds to the
left.

3) The first player looks at all the items and says, "My favorite is
the [item] because [gives reason]. (For example, "My favorite is
the pink necklace, because pink is my favorite color.")

4) Continue around the circle until everyone has chosen a favorite
and said why.

5) The first player now takes a second turn. This time, she picks
another family member and recalls what his favorite item was and
why. (For example, "Dad's favorite was the strawberry yogurt
because he thinks it tastes so good.")

6) Go around the table to the left until everyone has described the
favorite item of someone else.

7) Repeat the game, with everyone picking a second favorite item.
On the second round, everyone recalls both the first and second
favorite item of someone else.


FOR FURTHER INFORMATION:
--You'll find more practical tips you can use right now in 'Taking
"No" for an Answer and Other Skills Children Need' by Laurie
Simons, M.A. You can order this helpful book online at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1884734448/simplepleasuresp/

________________________________

< < O U R . S P O N S O R > >

"Raising Money Smart Kids" -- open access until May 31st

In 1998 Mike DaSilva had $90k in debt. His kids, still in diapers,
would be finishing school by the time it was paid off. Mike studied
everything he could get his hands on about personal finance, and
by 2003 he was a millionaire.

Looking back Mike says, "I do not want my kids to have to live
through what I did. What I learned at age 33, I could have and
should have learned when I was a kid."

"Raising Money Smart Kids" is a collection of Mike's practical
advice and information for every parent. Normally sold as part of
the KidsWealth Money Kit, you can get open access at no cost
until May 31st.

Teach your kids how to spend less, invest, live their best & help
the rest at: http://tinyurl.com/6d67b5

________________________________

ACCEPTING "NO" FOR AN ANSWER
Copyright Dr. Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller, RN
Used with permission. All rights reserved.
http://effectiveparenting.org/


Sometimes badgering is simply an attempt to gain attention
and lots of it. Question after question after question. Some
children seem to have the strategy down to a science. But
parents can be just as determined. One mom tried so hard
to resist her son’s badgering that he finally threw his hands
up in frustration and said, "Mom, you can be so stubborn!"

Any parent who has a child that badgers feels the unending
tension in the relationship. Parents may want to hide, or even
look for ways to avoid their son or daughter. Some parents say
that they cringe when they see that child coming. These parents
feel bad, but the tension in the relationship has become a real
irritation.

Many parents encourage the badgering by giving into it. One
dad said, "My son keeps it up until he finds something I'll say
yes to. He'll even change the subject and ask for something
completely different. It seems as if he needs a yes answer in
order to leave the conversation. I imagine that if I keep saying
no he'd eventually ask something like, 'Dad, could I take out
the trash?' just so I'll say yes to him. We're stuck in a pattern.
Somehow, we need to figure out how to end without me saying
yes."

If you have a child who demonstrates demandingness by
badgering, you first need to point it out so that your child
understands the problem. You might say, "Son, we're back
in the badgering routine here. I want you to stop now and not
ask me for anything else for the next hour. We can continue
to talk or be together but no more permission questions for
awhile."

When children badger and you grant permission for even good
things, you may be fostering demandingness in your children.
Badgering is a selfish way for children to get what they want.


ABOUT THE AUTHORS:
--Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN are authors
of a large number of books and other resources on parenting
and family life. You can visit them online and subscribe to their
free parenting email newsletter at: http://effectiveparenting.org/

You can order their books online at:

"Home Improvement: Eight Tools for Effective Parenting"
http://snurl.com/effectiveparenting

"Say Goodbye to Whining and Complaining ... In You and Your Kids!"
http://snurl.com/goodbyewhining

________________________________

READERS WRITE / READERS' TIPS
Submitted by Bright-Kids' readers.
Send your tips to Debi: dsimple@aol.com


== Organizing Homeschool Lesson Plans ==
I have homeschooled for 8 years, and it took me until last
year to find a way to organize lesson plans that worked for
us. We're not unschoolers, but we're not exactly 'by the
book' either, and none of the lesson planners had the right
mix of what we needed to organize our lessons. Last year,
I hit upon an idea that was perfect for us, and so simple I
couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before. At the beginning
of the year, I simply buy a new spiral notebook, and label
it 'lessons' on the front cover. Then, on the inside, I write
the day and date, and the lessons for that day. When my
daughter is done, she simply puts a check beside each
subject or item. If we have a field trip or vacation or unit study
that interrupts our normal course, I can simply flip back and
look to see what we did last, and where we're at now. I can
normally fit two or three days on one side of a paper. As a
bonus, this has helped me realize just how much we actually
get done in a day. I used to think I had to always add more.
Now, I look at the notebook and can see in second how
much we've accomplished!
--Valerie in IL



We'd love to hear YOUR fun ideas to encourage kids to learn
something new or try something different! Or even just have
some good old-fashioned family fun. :-)
______________________________

READ-ALOUD BOOKS FOR FAMILIES:

http://snurl.com/reading4kids

Recommended books for children and families
(This is a great list to print out and hand to your kids'
grandparents for suggestions at gift-giving times!) :-)
_______________________________

A special thanks to Gary Foreman and the friendly folks at
The Dollar Stretcher for making this mailing list possible! :-)
http://www.stretcher.com/
_______________________________

< < B E . O U R . S P O N S O R > >

Would you like to place an ad in this newsletter? Contact
Andrea at marketing@stretcher.com Subject line: bright-kids
Discover the modest rates for reaching this targeted market.
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Feel free to forward this newsletter to your family and friends. :-)
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BRIGHT-KIDS ARCHIVES

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DEBI'S RESOURCES:

Personal Blog: http://dsimple.wordpress.com
Nature Study Books: http://astore.amazon.com/naturestudy-20/
Frugality/Simplicity: http://thesimplemom.wordpress.com
Cooking Ahead: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/frozen-assets
Bright-Kids: http://brightkids.wordpress.com
Tupperware(r): http://my.tupperware.com/debihough
Personal Webpage: http://simplemom.com
My Church: http://whiteriverpres.org
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