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May 16, 2008 |
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Dear Friend, Believe it or not, you have control over seemingly unsolvable problems like traffic jams, job insecurity and stupid mistakes other people make. Sylvia Boorstein, PhD, author of Happiness Is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life and founder of the Spirit Rock Meditation Center, tells how to take control from the inside out, by asking yourself the questions that lead to a solution -- though it may not turn out to be the one you expected. You can solve your problems, and even may find your spirits lifted along the way. Rising gas prices is one of those seemingly unsolvable problems. Ron Hollenbeck, coauthor of The Gas Mileage Bible, reveals which maintenance strategies pay off in more miles for your money, shares driving tricks to conserve gasoline and tells why you'll want to clean out your car immediately after you arrive home from your summer vacation. All the best, Jessica Kent Editor BottomLineSecrets.com
Dealing With Difficulty Sylvia Boorstein, PhD
Spirit Rock Meditation Center  magine yourself in a very long and very slow-moving airport security line. The couple behind you is arguing loudly. "It's your fault," he proclaims. "No, it's yours," she insists. The increasingly vehement argument continues as the line inches forward. Then you notice another couple -- a couple that is hugging, not yelling at one another.California psychotherapist Sylvia Boorstein, PhD, witnessed the two different ways of dealing with difficulty as she waited in the same security line. Long lines, traffic congestion, job insecurity, financial problems, caring for a difficult child or an elderly parent -- everyone's life is full of challenges, she says. When confronted with a challenge, we often make up our own realities, frightening or discouraging ourselves based on our individual histories, memories, and fears. Here is her simple, three-step process for lifting spirits... Step #1: Wise concentration: Take a deep breath, relax and take another deep breath. Sylvia, who has taught meditation for several decades, encourages people to use whatever relaxation technique works best for them -- whether it is praying, looking out the window, listening to ambient sounds, repeating a mantra or visualizing themselves in a place or situation where they felt truly content. Step #2: Wise mindfulness: Ask yourself what you are feeling. Is it anger? Anxiety? Powerlessness? Grief? Don't pretend that the pain isn't there -- but remember that nothing lasts forever. Step #3: Wise effort: Figure out what you can do to change the situation. If you can't change it, accept it as it is. A best-selling author, Sylvia employed the three-step process just before the publication of Happiness Is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life, her newest book. Talking with her editor over the phone, she caught herself ranting and raving about a production error. In the midst of her emotional outburst, Sylvia took a deep breath and told herself to wait a minute to see the situation more clearly. She acknowledged her anger and pain, and then asked the editor whether the production mistake was correctible. The editor said it was a done deal. Sylvia told herself that the error shouldn't have been made -- but the reality was that it had been. Her anger was making her feel bad. Out of kindness to herself, she accepted the situation and moved on, choosing to go from negative thoughts to positive ones. Sylvia says that the secret to happiness is cultivating our capacity to connect with kindness -- kindness with ourselves, with family and friends, with people we don't know well and even with people we don't particularly like. It strengthens our ability to deal with the many challenges that are certain to come our way.
Bottom Line Secrets interviewed Sylvia Boorstein, PhD, founding teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California.
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espite all the technological know-how automakers have gained, most cars, trucks and SUVs remain incredibly inefficient today. In fact, most vehicles extract only about 20% of the available energy from a gallon of gasoline.
Use synthetic oil. Synthetic lubricants give you twice the bang for your buck. By reducing friction among your engine's moving parts, synthetic lubricants improve gas mileage -- and the life span of your engine. Though they seem expensive, synthetic oils last three to five times longer than
petroleum-based oils, allowing longer intervals between oil changes and saving you money in the long run. Prices for synthetics range from $6 to $13 per quart, compared with $1.50 to $4 per quart for regular oil. Best brands: Amsoil... Castrol... Mobil 1... and Red Line.
