Date:
Mon, April 28, 2008 11:10:18 AMFrom:
The Onion
Subject:
The Onion Daily Dispatch - 28 April 2008
Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant
TRENTON, NJ—Contestant mistresses were judged by firmness/roundness of breasts, color of hair, willingness to answer to the name "Hazel," and then breasts again.
Our Dumb World
Russia
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
A vast, sprawling, ramshackle nation where the decaying infrastructure is marred by tank-sized holes, and the entire navy has been capsized since...
Opinion
Listen, Can You Do Me A Favor And Join The Army?
By Sgt. 1st Class Steven L. Hynde
Army Recruiter
Hey, can you do something for me real quick? Could you enlist in the Army? I'm only asking because I was just wondering about it, because it would be great, I think. If you joined the Army. And it...
MONDAY 04/28/08
American Voices
Diet Could Affect Gender
"I want a girl but only have ketchup
and boiled ham in the fridge. Where does that put me?"
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