Dear Education Professionals,

Welcome to the Education World's Education Humor Newsletter. This newsletter is published weekly as a free service by Education World®. You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up to receive our weekly mailing of G-rated jokes and other humor related to the "education world."

If you enjoy this newsletter, please feel free to forward it to other teachers. If this newsletter has been forwarded to you, you may sign up to receive it at http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml.

Education World is the largest free resource on the Web for teachers and school administrators. We remain a free resource thanks to the support of our advertisers -- so please click on ads of interest and visit our advertisers' sites.

================================================================================

This week's newsletter is sponsored by American Public University.

Whether you're looking to maintain a current certification or transition into a supervisory position, American Public University's master of education programs can help you increase your earning potential and expand your career opportunities. Programs are available in Teaching – Instructional Leadership and Administration and Supervision. Tuition is affordable and classes are online, so you can earn your degree while balancing work and family commitments. New courses start monthly, because we know your schedule may not align with a traditional semester schedule. APU is a member of the regionally accredited American Public University System. Join 30,000 students worldwide.

Visit www.apu.apus.edu/education to learn more.

============================================================================

This week's newsletter is sponsored by HP.

HP knows successful 1:1 computing takes more than just computers, it takes great planning. That’s why HP offers a range of services like ongoing training for educators and innovative financing to help keep technology current. It’s just a part of the bigger picture HP considers to make 1:1 computing work for both students and educators alike. Learn more

============================================================================

Volume 7, Issue 14
April 10, 2008

***************************************************************************
EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
FOUND ON THE INTERNET
***************************************************************************

1895 8th grade graduation test

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?

BUT FIRST …

***************************************************************************
EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
POET'S CORONER
***************************************************************************

How Dumb I Feel
by Forrest Stone

I haven't read this old quiz yet
Culled from some yellowed old gazette
Already I can feel this quiz'll
Turn my pride to gooey drizzle

Who in 1895
Would pen a rhyme like that old jive?
I'm sure, with knowledge like below
Their verses made the paper glow

My verses glow, not 'cause of me,
But 'cause they're on an LCD
My quiz grade, I am sure, would flunk
And that is why I'm in a funk

What prospers us if fools like me
Who have more than just one degree
These days know squat about these brain
Things Kansans knew out on the plain?

And so, read on, I will, at last
Or at least, scroll through it pretty fast.

***************************************************************************
EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
FOUND ON THE INTERNET
***************************************************************************

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, Kansas, USA. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina.
                                                                                                          
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS - 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)

1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza, and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie, 'play,' and 'run.'
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. Long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)

1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas
6. Describe three of the most prominent b attles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name event s connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour)

1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.' (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis-mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)

1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco .
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

**************************************************************************

Education World now incorporates www.SchoolNotes.com ~ "everybody on the same page!" The leading school-to-home communications platform, with FREE pages for teachers and automatic notification of parents and students when new homework is posted!

For a modest $24.95 PER YEAR, upgrade to Personal Edition, "Super SchoolNotes," with thousands of resources linked to your state's standards!

Click here for more information

**************************************************************************

Would you like to contribute humor or just let us know what you find funny about the life of an educator? Write to WEBMASTER@EDUCATIONWORLD.COM ... Please put a sensible note in the subject line. Then get ridiculous in your e-mail.

***************************************************************************
SIGN UP FOR OUR OTHER NEWSLETTERS
***************************************************************************

Have you signed up to receive the...
Education World ADMINISTRATORS DESK NEWSLETTER?

Each week, Education World's Administrators Desk Newsletter shares with school leaders all the new content of interest posted to Education World in the previous week. You will find news articles on wide-ranging topics; the weekly How I Handled… feature, in which a principal shares a recently solved problem; a new or archived "Principal Files" article in which principals share practical ideas about real issues; a principal profile; and much, much more.

Would you like to see a sample of the Education World Administrators Desk Newsletter? If so, simply click the link below:
http://www.educationworld.com/newsletters_images/admin_sample.shtml

If you would like to subscribe to the Education World Administrators Desk Newsletter, simply click the following link:
http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml#admin

If the Administrators Desk Newsletter is not of interest to you, do you know somebody else who might benefit from it? Perhaps you could pass this information along to that person.

*****************************************************************

If you enjoy this Education Humor Newsletter, please feel free to forward it to other teachers! If this newsletter has been forwarded to you, you may sign up for it -- and any of the other Education World newsletters -- at http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml.

===================================
Education World®
http://www.educationworld.com/
newsletter-humor@educationworld.com
===================================
We have attempted to research all the jokes and other humor that appear in this newsletter to ensure that no copyrights have been violated. We have noted sources where they are available. The humor that appears in this weekly newsletter does not appear on the Education World Web site.

Education World
1062 Barnes Road Suite 205
Wallingford, CT 06492
===================================