• Hello friend, are you getting enough IRONY in your diet?

What do you call it when something happens that's the exact opposite of what you'd expect? We know there's a word for it, but, ironically, we can't think of it right now. Anyway, there seems to be a whole lot of it popping up in the news these days. See for yourself:

THE NEEDLE AND THE DAMAGE DONE
In Cincinnati, a man with a needle sticking out of his arm overdosed on heroin while driving, passed out and crashed his car into a drug treatment center. He was treated at a hospital and then arrested.

UHHH, YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
A columnist for Texas Tech's student newspaper, The Daily Toreador, wrote a column on plagiarism, but was fired when it was revealed he'd plagiarized it.

ALL THE RAGE
In Cloverdale, Ind., an anger-management teacher resigned after
he broke a student's finger in a fight during an anger management class.

IF ONLY THERE WERE SOMETHING WE COULD STUDY THAT WOULD ENABLE US TO FORETELL THE FUTURE...
Message on the Web site for The Astrological Magazine:
"We regret to announce that due to unforeseen circumstances beyond our control, the publication of The Astrological Magazine will cease..."

-- The Age; WLWT (Cincinnati); theindychannel.com; The Associated Press; Universal Press Syndicate

Lame Joke du Jour
Q: What's E.T. short for?
A: Cause he's got little legs.