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Volume 7, Issue 5
February 7, 2008

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EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
Real Headlines, Fake Comments ***************************************************************************

Kids With ADHD May Be More Likely to Bully

But less likely to really focus on it.

Rocker Composing Curricula Steven Van Zandt, lead guitarist for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, is writing Little Steven's Rock and Roll High School, a music education program that traces the history of rock 'n' roll in the U.S.

Mr. Van Zandt, who also played Silvio Dante on the HBO series The Sopranos, is rumored to be following this up with a "suspicious character education" curriculum. This will be offered on the Web as "Mobopedia."

Computer-Savvy Kids Still Lack Research Skills

Not much research to be done playing Runescape or Spoor.

School Holds "No Place for Hate" Week

Kids say they hate it.

Bounce Back School Gives Dropouts Last Chance

"Last" chance in that students getting thrown out of this school are sent to Steven Van Zandt's "Modopedia."

Mandatory Cooking Classes Proposed

The apple core curriculum.

Intensive Remediation Program Shows Results

Mild remediation program just kind of slides by.

School District Gives Teachers Money for Houses

Homeless teachers can then afford food.

H.S. Offers Homeland Security Courses

Unfortunately, the entire Bush Administration's Homeland Security team has to do summer make-up.

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EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
POET'S CORONER
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The Backpack Gallery
by Forrest Stone

In the attic, I set up old backpacks
In a tidy row
We saw our kids sling up and 'round
As off to school they'd go

The little baby color ones
Can almost bring a tear
The high school senior model
We suspect transported beer

I lined them up the other day
When searching for a chair
I somehow had in mind I'd hustled
Up that narrow stair

They kind of told a story
As I saw them there arrayed
Of hugs and tugs and arguments
And silly games we played

I left them there, and next time
That the kids are here to stay
I'll send them up on some pretext
And then see what they say

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