Discworld Monthly

*** Discworld Monthly ***
*** Issue 130: February 2008 ***

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. DiscTrivia
5. Review: The Cunning Artificer's Silver Procrastinator
6. Competitions
7. Review: The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld
8. The End
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1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 130. We've been receiving a lot of mail asking
about The Mob and SkyOne's adaptation of The Colour of Magic. First
let me tell you that the project hasn't been cancelled as some have
speculated. Unfortunately SkyOne haven't put much effort into
updating their production website so I can see why you might have
thought it.

Whilst nothing has been confirmed I believe that SkyOne are still
planning to broadcast the adaptation this Easter.

A case, I think, of no news is good news.

----------

After Terry's announcement last month about his illness and the
subsequent flood of mail, he has provided another update on Sandra
Kidby's website (http://www.pjsmprints.com/). I have reproduced
Terry's response below:

Folks,

We have had many tens of thousands of e-mails from people and the
letter flood is just beginning to bite (hilariously, spam traps
here tend to pick up things like 'medication' and treat quite a
lot of the mail as spam. If we switch them off, we get all the
spam too - hurrah!). All this good will is appreciated, although
there is no way on gods earth that I will be able to reply to even
a fraction of you. I would like people to bear in mind that I
have been diagnosed quite early after an MRI scan and a whole
afternoon of tests. While nothing is certain, one does not have
to be unduly optimistic to believe that I will be around and,
hopefully, working for some time to come. My advice, therefore,
is to calm down and await events. I have not actually gone, yet.

As an aside, thanks to everyone who bought Making Money making it,
we understand, the best selling hardback fiction of 2007. At
least that's what the figures say. It will be interesting to see
if the papers say it too.

Happy Hogswatch!

I would like to repeat my request of last month. Terry knows we are
all concerned for him so let's let him get on with doing what he
loves best - writing books.

----------

A couple of people have contacted me recently about Hill House's
Discworld * 12 series. So far The Colour of Magic and The Light
Fantastic have been released in this series which originally
promised a new book every 4 months. The Light Fantastic was
released in early 2007.

Here is what Terry has to say about about Hill House;

We are not at all happy with the situation at Hill House
Publishers. We know books that have been paid for have not been
published and we have our own difficulties with the owner, which
at the moment largely consist of not being able to make contact
with him at all. We know that the owner has been ill but that is
about the extent of our information.

Terry Pratchett

We will keep an eye on the situation and let you know as soon as we
discover anything new.

----------

Don't forget, if you visit a play or a talk and would like to let
the world know about it, please feel free to email your review to
oook@discworldmonthly.co.uk and we will consider it for publication.

--
Jason Anthony (Editor) oook@discworldmonthly.co.uk
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Better Letter Editor)
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2. News

From Mark (Bickaxe) official sports organizer at Wincanton events:

Now that Bernard "The Cunning Artificer" Pearson has stitched me up
with the sports thing, plans are 'afoot' (How is it by the way?) to
top both last years sports.

In May (24-25 May) I hope to bring you a test of agility, balance
and overall skill at making a complete idiot of yourselves providing
I can find room to do it. Hopefully in the beer garden of the
Dolphin again. Needless to say that it won't be Dodgeball....unless
that's what you all want again? Let Jason know at his private email
address ;)

For Hogswatch (29-30 November) I will 'retire' from organizing them
as I think four is more than enough of a treat for you all. It'll
be my masterpiece if we can arrange it so expect yet another
traditional football match but this time going to extremes :D

For those that haven't been to any of these events, you will find
information on the sports on the stamps forum a few weeks before the
event. You can sign up there.

----------

Discworld Dates...

This section will contain events that you need to keep in your
diary. Entries will remain until they go out of date. New entries
will include the word [New] next to them. If this section gets too
large we will start pruning entries.

----------

[UK] St. John's Players will be presenting their production of Wyrd
Sisters at St. John's Hall, Canal Street, Long Eaton, Derbyshire, at
7.30 pm, on 31st January, and 1st and 2nd February 2008. This is
the production which had to be postponed from October, due to
casting difficulties! Tickets are 5GBP, and 4GBP for concessions,
available from Liz on 0115 9724182, or Gordon, on 0115 9732265.

----------

[UK, Updated] The Broken Drummers is a London Discworld Group that
meets once a month on a Monday evening. Membership is free - just
come along. New members and visitors to London are both welcome and
encouraged.

February's meeting will be on Monday 11th February with a venue
still to be announced so keep an eye on
http://www.brokendrummers.co.uk or e-mail helenenicholls@yahoo.co.uk

----------

[UK, New] Terry will be appearing at the Bath Literature Festival in
an event that celebrates the 25th anniversary of Discworld. The
event takes place at The Forum in Bath on Saturday 23rd February,
7.30 - 8.30pm. Tickets costs 10 GBP (or 8 GBP with concessions) and
are available online at http://www.bathlitfest.org.uk or by calling
Bath Festivals Box Office on (01225) 463362.

----------

[AU, New] Discworld Pieces Two is an outrageous collection of short
stories by Terry Pratchett, performed in the crazy style of an old
time radio show. And will be performed as part of the Adelaide
Fringe Festival 2008 adapted by Pamela Munt and Rod Lewis.

The shows will be performed at the Bakehouse Theatre, 255 Angas St
Adelaide from March 5 - 8 and 11 - 15 at 5.30pm

Tickets cost: 15 AUD Adults, 10 AUD Concessions with other ticket
options available.

For bookings: Fringetix 1300374643, visit
http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au, call the Bakehouse Theatre on
82270505 or email book@bakehousetheatre.com

----------

[UK, New] The Henley players will be performing Wyrd Sisters at The
Kenton Theatre (Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire) from Tuesday 25 to
Saturday 29 March at 7.45pm, with a 3pm Saturday matinee.

A flyer can be downloaded from:
http://www.henleyplayers.com/downloads/wyrd_sisters.pdf

More information can be found from the Kenton Theatre website.
http://www.kentontheatre.co.uk/home.html

----------

[UK, New] The Wincanton Spring Bash will be held on the 24 and 25
May. Visit http://www.discworldemporium.com/ for more details.

----------

[UK] The Discworld Convention 2008 will take place at the Hilton
Metropole Hotel, Birmingham from 22nd to 25th August 2008.

For more information visit: http://www.dwcon.org/

----------

[UK] Wadfest 2008 will take place on the 29th - 31st August 2008.
Tickets cost 15 GBP for adults with children under 16 free when
accompanied by a paying adult.

For more information visit: http://www.wadfest.co.uk/

----------

[UK, New] The Wincanton Hogswatch Event will be celebrated on the
29th and 30th November. Visit http://www.discworldemporium.com/ for
more details once they have been confirmed.

----------

[US] The First North American Discworld Convention will take place
from September 4-7, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona.

For more information visit http://www.nadwcon.org/

----------
Small Ads...

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of
any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise
caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We
*strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

----------

Jo Kennedy writes: For Sale

I have for sale several editions of the Guild of Fans and Disciples
newsletter Ramtop to Rimfall.

These editions are dated:

Issue 22 - June 1999
Issue 23 - September 1999
Issue 24 - December 1999
Issue 25 - April 2000
Issue 26 - August 2000
Issue 27 - December 2000
Issue 28 - March 2001
Issue 29 - July 2001

Also I have a Guild of Fans and Disciples badge and several car
stickers featuring Nanny Ogg and a Dragon.

Also for sale is a Special Collectors Edition Instruction Book of
how to play "Cripple Mr Onion".

I am open to offers on all these items, please email.
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3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters or comments, please email them to
oook@discworldmonthly.co.uk

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter
unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We
may also edit your letters and ROLF.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work
as your own. If you use information from other resources please let
us know so we can give proper credit.

The best letter of the month will receive a Kiss the Cook print
supplied as by Bonsai Trading. Sadly Bonsai Trading is no longer
trading but John Pagan has kindly supplied me with a reasonable
supply of prints to give away.

----------

*
* From: "Karen Shaw" (email address withheld)
*
Although I have never e-mailed this (fabulous) newsletter before;
after reading the letter of Ms. Lee in December's edition I felt
compelled.

Having been a bit busy of late I had mistakenly read December's
issue before Novembers. After reading Ms Lee's letter I decided a
look at November's letters section may be in order to see what the
fuss was about.

Imagine my disappointment!

I was expecting deranged ravings of a pro-homosexual (gasp!) nature;
I found nothing of the sort. The letter I read was a sensitive
request backed up with personal experiences I hope I never have to
go through (the deaths of 3 friends due to intolerance).

We are all discworld fans; as such I hope that we are all sensible
and mature enough to deal with matters of politics and sexual
persuasion in an adult manner. OK maybe some would prefer not to
read what they view as "some gay guys sexual fantasy" when it was
nothing of the sort - if it was he has some very tame sexual
fantasies (along the lines of a group of people being portrayed in a
Discworld book?!) If, however, they do take offence then I can only
hope that they aren't scarred for life and can, in future, just get
over it and carry on reading a newsletter which I, for one, will not
decide to stop receiving (even if there was something to take
offence at in the first place).

According to Ms Lee she first took offence (at an October edition
letter) as she "did not agree with his viewpoints" well the world
would be pretty boring if we all agreed on everything - no need to
take offence. She also did not sign up to "hear other people's
idiotic opinions".

Well, dear, neither did I. (and if it matters I'm straight)

DWM replies: Karen's letler is one of many that we received in
support of Jamie White's letter. I am glad to see that many of our
readers are happy to discuss complex topics in a grown up manner.

----------

*
* From: "Rory O'Brien"
*
Like Nina Franklyn I have long thought that Terry deserved an honour
for any one of:

* Entertaining vast swathes of the world population
* Creating good humour and laughter
* Increasing literacy by persuading more of us to read and look up
the big words

In June John Meyn submitted a petitions to the Prime Minister's
website (http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/) to get Terry a Knighthood. It
only received 2,143 votes (including mine) which seems sadly few
given his readership. This petition has now closed and other
petitions with a similar theme have been rejected as too similar.

The Government did respond but only in the blandest way with; "the
government can assure you that your support for this suggestion will
be taken fully into account" blah etc...

Perhaps the most direct way would be to run our own petition and
then send the resultant myriad of support to the Ceremonial
Secretariat (!) as the most direct way of saying "Give him one".
See: http://www.honours.gov.uk/nominate/where.aspx. How about if
the Discworld Monthly ran a petition of its own? I propose, anyone
seconding?

DWM replies: Unfortunately we just don't have the resources to run
such a petition but if you would be willing to start one at one of
the petition sites such as http://gopetition.co.uk I am sure you
will get a vote or two from our readers.

----------

*
* From: David Rickson
*
As a new member I really would like to add my voice, or should I
say, 01001111001010010101, to the millions of others who have
enjoyed the Discworld series. I thank you for the platform enabling
me to do so. I have been a struggling writer for a number of years
and have now decided to give up struggling and concentrate on the
writing. After I read my first Terry Pratchett novel I gave up
writing for quite some time as his colossal genius threw my abysmal
efforts into the pothole of obscurity. There's always someone who
will spit in your Madras. But somehow it all seems worth it. I
have the entire Discworld series and have read and re-read them
until the pages have worn so thin I could almost read page two
through page one, and so on.

It is difficult to know what to admire about his writing the most:
the humour is unsurpassed, the stories are compulsive page turners
and the plots are seemingly endless. He could parody any occurrence
or place on the face of this p***t, stick it on the Discworld and
have a best seller. More power to the man.

Finally, I don't care a jot about the sexual preferences of any of
the characters, for your own choice of Gods sake, there is a gender
confused Golem that we've been most recently introduced to. Who
cares? It's bloody hilarious.

----------

*
* From: Debra Wilson
*
Just watched Lawrence of Arabia for the umpteenth time and finally
drew the connection between it and Jingo, including a direct quote
"The trick is not minding that it hurts." It made the film far more
enjoyable as I tried to identify Jabba's camel amongst many other
characters. Has anyone noticed any other books resemblance to other
movies?

Oh! or Ook!

----------

*
* From: "R BAPTISTA"
*
Like many others I've been a fan if Discworld for many years and the
recent news of Terry's health was quite frightening. It's quite a
simple fact of life to be terrified when someone you've "known" for
so many years is diagnosed with any kind of disease.

True, he ain't dead yet, but I'm sure for many of us faithful
readers the idea of something happening to Terry is dreadful.
There's no other author who's books have developed like his.
There's no other who makes fun of our society like him. There's no
other like him - which makes him as unique as he can get. I would
love to see him recognised for what he does, but a knighthood
nowadays is given to any John Smith out there. I don't think any
prize would be enough for his talent. The best we all can do for
him is continue to support him and keep on buying all his books.

I look forward to the many books to come.

DWM replies: R Baptista gets this month's Letter Of The Month.

----------

*
* From: "Chris Bratcher"
*
You wonder how Mr C.M.O.T.Dibbler's moniker might have been
expressed when peddling his wares at a Roman arena.

Latin has a lovely succinct and specific verb, "iugulare" (from
which we get 'jugular'), where we use a phrase, 'to cut a throat'.

"Ipse me iugulans" (I.M.I.) Dibbler would do nicely for "I'm (even)
Cutting M.O.T..": or even more simply, Iugulandus Dibbler - the
dibbler prone to be a-cutting.

N.B. If Throat's pitch is more on the lines of "I would be/have been
C.M.O.T. (if I were to throw in that bit of sausage = 'tomaculum',
or 'hillae' = smoked sausage), but hey, its Xmas/ saturnalia, etc,
etc", then we are in the realm of the Subjunctive: "iugulaverim
me Dibbler" is just about perfect. Latin has the inestimable
advantage of preserving his initials with only the verb ending
changing.

Vale ('bye') Chris
--------------------------------------------------------------------
4. DiscTrivia

This month I'm asking questions about The Truth.

Q1. According to Mr Tulip, you are OK as long as you have your _____.

Q2. What is the name of the gentleman that brings humorously shaped
vegetables to the Ankh Morpork Times office?

Q3. Who is the key witness in the attempted assassination of
Vetinari's servant Drumknott?
a) Gaspode
b) Wuffles
c) Laddie
d) Deep Bone

Q4. What does Otto use to generate 'Dark Light'?

Q5. What letter makes an impression on William de Worde when he is
hit by the press?

The results, as always, appear at the end of this issue.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Review: The Cunning Artificer's Silver Procrastinator
Reviewed by Jason Anthony.

I wish this procrastinator worked in real life. There have been
times recently when a few extra hours squeezed into a day would have
come in so useful.

Bernard has taken the idea of portable procrastinators to extremes
with this lovely solid silver pendant. The Discworld Emporium
website suggests that you could wear it on a chain or a charm
bracelet or even your key ring for use in emergencies - maybe that's
why mine hasn't saved me any time yet.

I must admit being hesitant about attempting a review of this item
because I find it very hard to explain. Would you expect a review
of a piece of a charm bracelet?

The procrastinator is about 20mm high including the link for hanging
from chain or bracelet and about 10mm in diameter. It feels
surprisingly heavy for such a small item but I guess that's why
silver is called a heavy metal. The procrastinator looks like a
small salt or pepper pot with - to me - indecipherable oriental
looking writing around its centre and very intricate characters
around the base. I guess I've never really thought too much about
what a procrastinator looks like. I seem to remember something
about cylindrical stones but it's been a while since I've read Thief
of Time.

I must admit I find it hard to get excited about this but I think
that it would look quite good worn on a chain. In fact I might sort
out a chain to see how comfortable it is to wear - look out for me
wearing it at a future Discworld event.

Bernard has only made 50 of these procrastinators and at the time of
writing this review only 16 were left. So hurry up if you want one
for yourself. The procrastinator costs 19.50 GBP plus postage which
is reasonable for a charm piece.

I think that wearing it might get you a few questions about what
exactly you are wearing about your neck or wrist but it could be fun
trying to explain!

More information about the silver procrastinator can be found on the
Discworld Emporium website:
http://www.discworldemporium.com/catalog.php?item=295&catid=23
--------------------------------------------------------------------
6. Competitions

Barrie "The Special Discworld Jeweller" Wakeford has generously
offered one of his beautiful Discworld pendants as a prize for this
month's competition. Barrie had some of these on display at the
Hogswatch Bash in Wincanton in December and they look wonderful.
Rather than being a flat image, Barrie has made these in the full
three dimensions. The prize is one of only 88 ever made. More
details can be found at the Crystal Connection website:
http://www.jewellerybybarrie.co.uk

In order to win this wonderful prize all you need to do is answer
the following simple question:

Q1. Only 88 Discworld pendants will be made but how many have been
made available at the moment?

Remember to email your answer to competitions@discworldmonthly.co.uk
by 22nd February 2008. The randomly selected winner will be
announced next month.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
7. Review: The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld
Review by Jason Anthony

The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld is a rather strange book. For a
while I couldn't work out who it was aimed at until I finally
realised it is really a book for getting people hooked on Discworld.

The book is a collection of Stephen Briggs' favourite snippets from
each of the Discworld books. It's not a book designed to be read
from cover to cover (although you could do it, but the story arc is
not that great). It's more a book for browsing. You can open the
book at any page and, unless you happen to hit a title page, will be
able to quickly find something to make you laugh.

Unfortunately the book isn't what I was hoping for and not really
what the jacket information says it should be (at least on the US
version). I understand the UK version has a different cover but
haven't seen it yet. I was expecting there to be a number of
subjects and then examples of Terry's writing that relate to that
subject, so you could have subjects such as Religion or Democracy
and then quotes from Discworld about them.

I think where it will become handy is when you want to introduce
somebody to Discworld, you can lend them this book and let them see
if the ideas fire off their imagination - it might even make
selecting where they should start in the series easier.

I do like the look of the book - the cover is designed to make it
look like old leather and in the US edition the pages are quite
roughly cut which a) makes it look well used and b) suggests that it
could be used in they way that the inhabitants of the Ramtops use
the Almanac - the paper looks nice and soft.

For the UK edition visit:
http://www.discworldmonthly.co.uk/?ISBN=0385611773

For the US edition visit:
http://www.discworldmonthly.co.uk/?USISBN=0061370509
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8. The End

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* Latest Book Information *

Discworld hardback: Making Money
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385611013/87

Discworld paperback: Thud
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0552152676/87

Discworld hardback Companion: Where's My Cow?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/038560937X/87

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* Disc Trivia Results *

Q1. According to Mr Tulip, you are OK as long as you have your _____.
A1. Potato

Q2. What is the name of the gentleman that brings humorously shaped
vegetables to the Ankh Morpork Times office?
A2. Mr Wintler

Q3. Who is the key witness in the attempted assassination of
Vetinari's servant Drumknott?
A3. b) Wuffles

Q4. What does Otto use to generate 'Dark Light'?
A4. Uberwaldean Deep Cave Land Eels

Q5. What letter makes an impression on William de Worde when he is
hit by the press?
A5. The letter 'R'.

* Obtaining Terry's Books *

If you are looking for Terry books or videos over the net, simply
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[dwm] Discworld Monthly - Issue 130