Dear Education Professionals,

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Volume 6, Issue 36
September 13, 2007

Welcome back to school for another amazing year of the Education World Humor Newsletter. Bring your smile along? Make sure it's on the leash - you know the rules!

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EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
Poet's Coroner
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Song of Junk Food
by Forrest Stone

Mama mia, pizza cheese-uh
Burgers, dogs, and fries with the salt
Afterwards, uh, dairy curds
Inside a milkshake thickened with malt

M and Ms – yeah, lots a' them
And Ritz and bits of lovely Pop Tarts
Soaked with soda, don't you know they're
Good for the market but bad for your hearts

All the kids'll have bulging middles
If they keep on eating these swills
But I'll do OK 'cause I bought just today
Shares in outfits like General Mills

All things in moderation, they say
So I sold some of my shares by way of eBay!

Some people are scared of the number 13
But it's always been lucky for me
Like the baker's dozen they gave me this morning
To munch on along with my tea

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THE THINGS KIDS SAY
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…  that parents and teachers share on the Internet

The kindergarten boy told his teacher he saw a dead cat outside. The teacher asked what made him think it was dead. "I pissed in its ear, and it didn't move," said the boy. The teacher was shocked until the boy showed her what he meant: He leaned over and mimed cupping his hand near the cat's ear and said, "Pssst!"

The frightened little boy asked his mother during the thunderstorm, "Mom, can you sleep in my bed tonight?"
"Sorry," she said, "I have to sleep in Daddy's bed."
A long silence was finally broken when the boy's shaking voice said, "The big sissy."

Seems Like We Were Never Gone
There ought to be a manual -- "A Teacher's End of Summer Guide for Re-entry" -- to soften the abrupt shift from the low gear of summer to the high gear of a new school year. Maybe I'll write it one of these days. For the time being, though, here's a song. Enjoy! -- Eric Baylin
http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/columnists/baylin/baylin025.shtml

Regina Barreca: Who's at a New School This Year?
"Neither the fancy new credential nor the well-rehearsed script... necessarily prepare you for the 'blind date' quality of that first meeting with this year's new students. Your new class will be -- shockingly enough -- new. And you'll be a new teacher."
http://www.educationworld.com/a_issues/columnists/barreca/barreca021.shtml


SEND IN YOUR WILD AND WACKY HUMOR IDEAS

Write to Webmaster@EducationWorld.com, and include HUMOR in the subject line. Please include submissions as part of the text of your email - we don't mess with attachments!


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Would you like to contribute humor or just let us know what you find funny about the life of an educator? Write to WEBMASTER@EDUCATIONWORLD.COM ... Please put a sensible note in the subject line. Then get ridiculous in your e-mail.

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If you enjoy this Education Humor Newsletter, please feel free to forward it to other teachers! If this newsletter has been forwarded to you, you may sign up for it -- and any of the other Education World newsletters -- at http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml.

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We have attempted to research all the jokes and other humor that appear in this newsletter to ensure that no copyrights have been violated. We have noted sources where they are available. The humor that appears in this weekly newsletter does not appear on the Education World Web site.

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