Dear Education Professionals,

Welcome to the Education World's Education Humor Newsletter. This newsletter is published weekly as a free service by Education World®. You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up to receive our weekly mailing of G-rated jokes and other humor related to the "education world."

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This week's newsletter is brought to you by The History Channel.

The History Channel has developed a Take A Vet to School Day campaign to link veterans of all ages with young people in our schools and communities.

This nationwide initiative will help strengthen ties in your communities and bring history to life in classrooms. To learn more about how to organize a Take a Vet to School Day at your school or in your community, log on to www.veterans.com.

This website will include sample agendas, curriculum links, how-to guides, and information about how to work together with your local cable company to organize an event at your school.

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Volume 6, Issue 22
May 31, 2007

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EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR
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Poet’s Coroner

The New Student Orientation
by Forrest Stone

After the placement test, tense, terse, and trying
The new student welcome can just leave you crying
The principal lectures fresh-persons-to-come
And hopes his stern words don't boil off in the sun

The room is a'swelter, the faculty weary
Of meetings all year that have made their eyes bleary
The parents are warily scanning the zone
To see which kids their kids should never bring home

The kids themselves stiff and reluctant to talk
As if, faced with new faces, they turn into rock
Of the courses, what's said drifts away in a minute
It's like judging a book by the bookmark that's in it

The facility tour is no thrill, as a rule
Mostly school is a school is a school is a school
The cookies and coffee are welcome and yet
They'd taste better nearer your own TV set

Still, like all these rituals that turn our pages
This one will no doubt survive future ages
Someday the new-student bash will be held
In some spaceship of strange ellipsoidal weld

The principal's words will appear in your brain
Without any vocal cords needing to strain
The coursework will zap its way into your mind
Physical schools we may just leave behind

But, let's hope, forever, this orientation
Of kids to their high-school-to-be situation
Will cause them to pause on life's crazy ski-slope
And indulge in a moment of pure youthful hope

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MORE VERSIFICATION FROM EDUCATION WORLD
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QUICKIE QUIRKIES and QUIRKY QUICKIES

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
He wanted to prove he was as evolved as the chicken.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Why are you posing Zen puzzles in a humor newsletter?

What do you say to a 500 pound gorilla?
You don't look an ounce over 400 pounds.

What is a knock-knock joke?
A riddle gone horribly wrong.

What's going to happen to the Education World Humor Newsletter over the summer?
We'll be re-running our special summer series, "Tales from Jargon World" and other of our greatest hits. We will also throw in something funny each week that's new that we don't want to wait for the fall to share with you. How are we supposed to know this stuff in advance? What do you want out of a humor newsletter anyway, laughs or predictability? Come to think of it, what IS the sound of one hand clapping?

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For a modest $24.95 PER YEAR, upgrade to Personal Edition, "Super SchoolNotes," with thousands of resources linked to your state's standards!

Click here for more information

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Would you like to contribute humor or just let us know what you find funny about the life of an educator? Write to WEBMASTER@EDUCATIONWORLD.COM ... Please put a sensible note in the subject line. Then get ridiculous in your e-mail.

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Education World®
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We have attempted to research all the jokes and other humor that appear in this newsletter to ensure that no copyrights have been violated. We have noted sources where they are available. The humor that appears in this weekly newsletter does not appear on the Education World Web site.

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