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WELCOME TO HOMEBODIES
February 20, 2007
Volume 8, Issue 8
Weekly encouragement and empowerment e-zine
for stay-at-home parents and working parents
considering the at-home lifestyle
Your Hostess - Cheryl Gochnauer, author of
"Stay-at-Home Handbook", "So You Want to Be a
Stay-at-Home Mom", "Mom to Mom" and founder of
http://www.homebodies.org
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THIS WEEK'S ARTICLES:
"Parenting Partnerships: Part I - Not My Job" by Homebodies founder Cheryl
Gochnauer
“Conquering Kids Clutter" by Homebodies columnist Debbie Williams, founder
of Organized Times (http://www.organizedtimes.com)
"I’m Tired of Serving Others" by Homebodies columnist Lysa TerKeurst,
president of Proverbs 31 Ministries (http://www.proverbs31.org)
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PARENTING PARTNERSHIPS:
PART I - NOT MY JOB
Homebodies
By Cheryl Gochnauer
homebodies@comcast.net
Copyright 2007
One area where I’ve seen couples run into role-playing trouble is in
divvying up household responsibilities.
When I first came home, I thought, “There’s no need for my husband to help
with chores anymore. I’m here; I’ll do it.” Terry, of course, loved the
idea. It wasn’t long, however, before I realized raising children was a
full-time job. An entire day could speed by before I had a chance to brush
my teeth, much less do a week’s worth of laundry. And while we’re airing
dirty laundry, let me say that between finger-painting fiascos, kitchen
table catastrophes and toilet-training traumas, my youngest child could rack
up a hamper full of dirty clothes in a single afternoon!
When Terry arrived home each evening, it was a toss-up whether he would walk
into calm or chaos. My husband likes a tidy house and said so. I’m a
stay-at-home mom, not a stay-at-home maid, and said so.
We finally compromised. I asked Terry to name the one chore he most wanted
finished before he got home each day, the single thing that drove him nuts
when it wasn’t done. He chose clutter cleanup. I agreed to blitz the house
every afternoon, stashing away toys and straightening up the living room. On
a good day, I’d even wash the handprints off the front door.
Meanwhile, I let him know I’d appreciate it if he acknowledged that my
at-home job ran 24/7, not simply 8 to 5. Terry did, and reassumed some of
the chores he’d handled when we were both working outside the home. This did
wonders for my self-esteem, because I like a tidy house, too, and falling
short everyday was taking a toll on my attitude.
(NEXT WEEK: PART II – YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY)
*****
Comments? Write Cheryl at homebodies@comcast.net.
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CONQUERING KIDS CLUTTER
Organized Times
By Debbie Williams
info@organizedtimes.com
Copyright 2007
Spring is almost here, and with it comes the urge to clean, de-clutter and
toss out. Until the next year, when we start all over again. For some
reason, after the holidays and again in the springtime, I find myself drawn
to minimalist decorating. You know the style: no knick-knacks, a few things
hung on the walls, throw out all the kids’ toys . . . ok, that’s a bit
drastic. But with a preschooler’s Hot Wheels taking over my living room,
I’m getting ready to regroup. Perhaps a few of these organizing tips will
help you in your quest to conquer clutter in kids’ rooms.
PLEASE CONTAIN YOURSELF!
Remember all those plastic tubs with lids you bought on sale? You know the
ones, stacked in your closet or truck of your car? This is the time to put
them to good use. Blocks, doll clothes, small toy cars, tinker toys, play
doh, and all the other loose items floating around the house belong
together. I strongly recommend using shelves with tubs of different sizes as
opposed to toy boxes. Toys last longer when they're stored gently and not
stacked, and the kids can find things easier. Reduces boredom and makes for
fewer trips to the toy store as well.
Small plastic shoe boxes are perfect for Legos, Barbie clothes and
accessories, and hot wheels. Find the totes a size larger with handles on
the top for easy carrying to and from the play area. Larger tubs hold
blocks, play food and dishes, and other pieces that just seem to multiply in
the night. Save the large tubs for train sets, car tracks, doll
accessories, and sports gear. Flat under-the-bed boxes are wonderful for
out of season clothes and toys. Most closets are not large enough for toys
and clothes, so why not store unused toys as you would clothing: kites,
beach gear, and baseball gear is stashed during winter months; football,
hockey stick, and ice skates are stored during the summer.
Try to buy clear tubs for easy viewing, or label with words or pictures for
younger children. If they can't see what's inside, chances are they won't
use the toys within the nicely organized containers. Kind of defeats the
purpose, don't you think? Get creative, and let the kids help you label the
boxes with photos or magazine clippings of the items. Good rainy day
project, and promotes reading skills for the little ones.
WHAT'S YOUR HANG UP?
One of the key rules in organizing and decorating is to utilize vertical
space. Often we place furniture around the room with nothing above it,
forming a nice horizontal line. There is a ton of unclaimed storage and
visually appealing space right above the furniture line! Hat racks,
expandable or pegged, make wonderful hooks for stuffed animals, dress up
clothes, hats (I just had to state the obvious here!), jackets, back packs,
and book bags. Smaller items can be hung to organize them by function:
sports gear (baseball hat, glove, cleats), or fashion (jewelry, belts,
scarves, hats). More is better? I once saw an entire wall of a kids' room
lined with pegged hat racks, creating a chair rail. The pegs were at eye
level for the little ones, who hung stuffed animals from ribbons, hats,
totes filled with blocks, and various light-weight kid treasures. Very
creative.
ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE!
In the lower grades of elementary school, the classrooms are set up in
learning centers. And to contain the clutter in the classroom, Miss Crabtree
has a strict rule of putting a toy away before taking out another one. This
may seem strict in your own home and does not work with every child. With my
own son, I have the "three toy rule": he may play with three toys, then it's
time to put them away before dragging out another one. It works well with
puzzles, books, and other like items. If you start young, they may continue
this "clean as you go" rule throughout life.
Be sure to provide ample shelving, simple containers, and practical
solutions for this rule. I found when my son was an infant that board books
fell right through the slatted bookcase in his room, so I found stacking
bins in primary colors for the smaller books. We use the bookcase for large
toys instead. Bend the rules, and create new ones.
UPSTAIRS OR DOWNSTAIRS? INSIDE OR OUTSIDE? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
How many times have you heard that back door open and close during a warm
summer day? In Texas where we live, the flies come in and the air
conditioned air rushes out. Not a good thing! Toys in the hands of an active
child follow the same rule, and inventory has to be taken at the day's end
to make sure baseball mitts are not left outside, and bubble mowers are not
dripping on the carpet. Assign rules to the toys and try to stick to them:
inside toys, outside toys, upstairs toys, downstairs toys. Often this is a
safety factor, such as all toys that can be thrown are OUTDOOR toys (balls,
bats, Frisbees). All paper items are INDOOR toys (books, kites).
If you have a two-story home, upstairs toys are not dragged downstairs, they
stay in the bedroom or playroom. Keep a few toys on a small shelf, in a
wicker basket or toy bin downstairs in the family room. These must be
cleaned up each night before bedtime. Downstairs push or riding toys must
stay downstairs and off the steps.
YOU'RE DRIVING ME UP THE WALL!
To further utilize vertical space, install shelves and paint them to match
the wall. Hang toy hammocks for stuffed animals. Spray paint a long shower
tension rod, wrap with Velcro strips, and stick up stuffed animals. Old soda
crates found at flea markets can be cleaned up, painted, and will house
treasures of all kinds: collections (shells, rocks, key rings, kids meal
toys). Smaller versions can be purchased at craft and discount stores.
Interior decorators encourage us to keep our collections, but to consolidate
rather than scatter them for drama. Encourage your child's creativity by
enlisting their help for novel solutions for storage. Give them a budget,
make a list of things to contain, and see what they come up with. Perhaps
they'll surprise you and suggest taking a box full to their favorite
children's charity, or have a garage sale to raise money for newer toys.
Involving your kids in the planning, prioritizing, sorting, and containing
stages ensures better (not perfect) participating in the maintenance of
clutter. And who knows? You may actually nurture a minimalist of your own in
the process. Or a packrat with incredibly organized closets.
*****
Debbie Williams is an author, speaker and radio host who offers tools and
training to help you put your life in order. Learn more tips like these in
her book, Organized Kidz (By the Book Media, September 2005)
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I’M TIRED OF SERVING OTHERS
Proverbs 31 Woman
By Lysa TerKeurst
lysa@proverbs31.org
Copyright 2007
Why can't it be all about me today? I'm tired of constantly driving my kids
around, running to the grocery store several times a week, cooking, picking
up the dry cleaning, paying for everyone's activities, making costumes,
setting appointments, helping keep everyone's schedule straight, assisting
with homework projects, thinking of all the family details, and chasing
after the dog who loves to run away. Being the woman of the household gets
exhausting, especially when you feel under-appreciated, overworked and
stretched way too thin. When I start feeling this way, I know it's time to
make time for me. Not that life becomes all about me. But at times it's
important to break away from the daily grind and let Jesus refresh me.
Mark 12: 30-31 says, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with
all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second
is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater
than these" (NIV). Often we rush through this verse and park our thoughts on
"love your neighbor." For women, our closest neighbors are the ones who live
under our roof. Then, we love people who live around us, go to church with
us, and those we interact with. While it is good to fulfill the "love
others" part of the verse, if we don't balance it with the rest of this
verse, we'll start to feel drained and grumpy.
First, we are told to love the Lord with everything in us. Think about all
the things you did for your family to show them love this past week. Now
contrast that with what you've done to show Jesus you love Him. How much
time have I spent praising Him by singing worship songs and quoting
Scripture? Have I taken time to talk to Him about my concerns, fears,
challenges, expectations, plans, hopes and dreams? Have I even cracked open
my Bible in the past couple of days for the sole purpose of wanting to hear
from the Lord? Not just doing my obligatory Bible reading, but reading the
Scriptures as a treasured love letter from my Beloved Savior.
Next we are told to love our neighbors as ourselves. The assumption here is
that we "love ourselves." Not that we are self-centered and absorbed with
our wants and desires, but that we take care of ourselves and make time to
refresh and refuel.
When a vehicle's gas tank is low on fuel, the dashboard indicators warn that
the car is almost out of gas. If the driver ignores the warning signal, the
vehicle eventually breaks down. This is true for us. If we ignore the
warning signals that we are running on empty, we will begin to wear down.
Even if we can still go through the motions of life, our attitude and
emotional outlook will suffer greatly.
How can we tell we are running on empty? Here are a few warning signs: a
short temper, feeling that life is spinning out of control, having a sense
of dread when waking up in the morning, missing appointments, feeling
invaded when someone asks a favor, and having a hard time controlling your
emotions. I know these well because I have to guard my time and my emotional
energy by taking time to love God and myself.
Do you feel as though you're running low and need to veer out of the fast
*** for a bit? Why not pull out your calendar and get intentional by
scheduling time to spend with God and time to do things for yourself as
well.
This is not being selfish. A wise person told me one of the best things I
could do for my family is to take good care of myself. Then, instead of
serving others from a grumpy, grumbling heart, I can serve from a heart
overflowing with God's peace and joy.
*****
Lysa TerKeurst is a wife, mother and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries.
She is also the best selling author of a dozen books and a national speaker.
To find out more about Lysa or her ministry, log on to www.Proverbs31.org.
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PUBLICATION INFORMATION
Copyright 2007 Cheryl Gochnauer. All rights reserved. For permission to
reprint an article, please write homebodies@comcast.net.
All articles are printed with the author's prior consent. It is assumed that
any questions, tips or replies to questions may be reprinted. All letters
become the property of Cheryl Gochnauer.
Cheryl Gochnauer does not assume responsibility for advice given. All
advice should be weighed against your own abilities and circumstances and
applied accordingly. It is up to the reader to determine if advice is safe
and suitable for their own situation.
Homebodies is a free weekly e-mail newsletter.
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_________________________________________________________________
With tax season right around the corner, make sure to follow these few
simple tips.
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Taxes/PreparationTips/PreparationTips.aspx?icid=HMFebtagline
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