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Friday, January 05, 2007
Happily N'Ever AfterOnce upon a time, in the land of make-believe (better known as Hollywood), there was a brand new formula for making dazzling kiddie movies. It was called CG, and children all over the world rejoiced when such fare as Toy Story and Shrek hit the theaters. But then an evil curse plagued the land, as a string of mediocre stories threatened to make CG stale. The latest: Happily N'Ever After, a postmodern Cinderella spoof. Critics say this is a pretty grim fairy tale, with less-than-dazzling images and a bland storyline.

Cedric the Entertainer is a funny guy, and as a supporting player he's stolen scenes in everything from Lemony Snicket to Be Cool. Sadly, he's yet to have a starring vehicle that has utilized his comedic talents to the fullest, and it appears Code Name: The Cleaner is no exception. In this action/comedy, Cedric plays a janitor who stumbles into the middle of a government conspiracy, from which he tries to extricate himself with the help of Lucy Liu. The critics say the weak script does none of the actors any favors, playing up the absurd thriller elements to leaden effect.

Liberal and conservative education experts both have it wrong. What our inner city schools need is neither greater funding nor vouchers. In order to save the impoverished students of America, we need an unconventional, no-nonsense teacher to instruct students in ballroom dance, football, or poetry, preferably in the guise of Antonio Banderas, The Rock, or Michelle Pfeiffer. In Freedom Writers, Hilary Swank plays a fresh-faced teacher who gets her students in touch with their creative writing side, and -- wonder of wonders -- it's getting reasonably good reviews. The critics say the film may be clich?d, but it's earnest and features strong performances.

Alfonso Cuaron may have made his best movie yet with Children of Men, continuing the hot streak started with Y Tu Mama Tambien and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. This time, Cuaron has envisioned a world where women have become infertile and every country has become a dystopia or slipped into a fascist state. Critics are praising not only the film's technical aspects (including seamless CG work, fluid camerawork, and complex battle scenes), but also the emotional story and performances. Find out what else is playing this week.

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OPENING MOVIES -- Tickets and showtimes
Children of Men fresh
92%
Children of Men -- Starring Clive Owen & Julianne Moore, directed by Alfonso Cuaron
Freedom Writers fresh
60%
Freedom Writers -- Starring Hilary Swank & Imelda Staunton, directed by Richard LaGravenese
Happily N'Ever After rotten
5%
Happily N'Ever After -- Starring Sigourney Weaver & Sarah Michelle Gellar, directed by Paul J. Bolger
Code Name: The Cleaner rotten
6%
Code Name: The Cleaner -- Starring Cedric the Entertainer & Lucy Liu, directed by Les Mayfield

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UPCOMING -- Miss Potter, Arthur and the Invisibles, Alpha Dog

NEW VIDEOS -- DVD details and shopping
Snakes on a P*** fresh
68%
Snakes on a P*** -- Starring Samuel L. Jackson & Julianna Marguiles, directed by David R. Ellis
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The Covenant rotten
3%
The Covenant -- Starring Steven Strait & Sebastian Stan, directed by Renny Harlin
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Shottas rotten
13%
Shottas -- Starring Ky-mani Marley & Spragga Benz, directed by Cess Silvera
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Beer League rotten
29%
Beer League -- Starring Artie Lange & Seymour Cassel, directed by Frank Sebastiano
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UPCOMING -- The Illusionist, The Night Listener, Quinceanera

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Certified Fresh Pick
IN THEATERS
CHILDREN OF MEN (92%)
Certified FreshStarring Clive Owen & Julianne Moore, directed by Alfonso Cuaron

Consensus
Children of Men works on every level: as a violent chase thriller, a fantastical cautionary tale, and a sophisticated human drama about societies struggling to live.

ON VIDEO/DVD
SIR! NO SIR! (90%)
Certified FreshDirected by David Zeiger

Consensus
A powerful reflection on a pivotal era, from a viewpoint seldom visited, this documentary hits home, especially with its relevance to current events.

Guess That Movie!
This Week's Quote
"If I were going to be careful, I'd have joined the Coast Guard."

Know the answer? Post it here.


Last Week's Quote
"It's just ain't penguin, okay?"

Last Week's Answer
Hugh Jackman as Memphis in Happy Feet.  (First to answer correctly: "Rory L. Aronsky")

Have more movie quotes? Post them here.

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